


Remember Me

by Emblue_Sparks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12378120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emblue_Sparks/pseuds/Emblue_Sparks
Summary: Castiel longs for his soul mate. But will this soul remember him?





	Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a weekend prompt by the Destiel NaNoWriMo fb group. Two pictures were given and I chose the one depicting Castiel visiting Dean as a young child.
> 
> Pretty sure I was half asleep when I wrote this...ugh. I'm not happy with this, my apologies.

Castiel had prayed seemingly forever to find his soulmate. Many of his brothers and sisters who were younger than him had found theirs eons ago. He’d always been different, never falling in line with what he should do or say. It had gotten him in so much trouble, on more than one occasion. Following his heart, if he could even call it that, was not something he’d ever change. So he was willing to accept whatever punishment was doled out for his disobedience, which by this point in time he figured not meeting his soulmate was part of. It hurt tremendously, but there was nothing he could do about it other than continue his existence, finding hope and happiness where he could. 

Often he’d spend time visiting Heavens belonging to souls who’d come home. He found it very intriguing, peaceful even and he favored the heaven of an autistic man who spent his quiet existence in beautiful scenery flying a kite. This was during times of rest, but often he spent time in battle. He was good at it, battle strategy was as natural to him as breathing was for humans and it was exhilarating to destroy evil, crawling things so fewer innocent, sentient beings in the universe would suffer. Yet he truly longed for a peaceful existence alongside someone who could understand him, love him, and for him to be blessed with the chance to return that love. 

Eventually during his heavenly roamings he came across a mother with two children. She was a happy sort who cared for her boys with a gentle passion. He wondered where the father was but so many souls did not have a true mate, many were in love but finding the one soul to which you were bound was rare. He visited often, watching the play of the boys and the smiles of the mother as she engaged them with love and pride. He grew to care for them deeply and wondered how they'd passed. It was forbidden to grow so attached to souls bound to heaven, he wanted to inquire but fearing when doing so it might cause further trouble for himself. 

Finally he received word one day of a prophecy. One which had been in play for a while that he’d not been privy to. Michael and Lucifer would soon take vessels and fight to the death in order to gain final control of earth. He ached for the world and the loss it would sustain no matter who won. Naomi sent orders that he would lead a garrison into Hell in order to find, retrieve, and restore a man to earth so he could fulfill half of the prophecy. Castiel was sorrowful for this righteous man but thankful for such a just purpose and the opportunity to save an innocent. He was told he needed to acquaint himself with this soul as he grew so as to recognize him in Hell when the time came. This sounded very much like the purpose an angel was tasked with when finding their soulmate, but that simply hadn't happened yet. He’d not been informed of his souls birth, not been given a name. No matter, this was a mission of great import and he would gladly give his life for such a man in Hell if this is indeed what heaven commanded of him. When he was shown the soul to watch out for his heart sunk, it was the eldest of the two boys he’d visited so often. They hadn’t passed after all, only their mother had. To make matters worse, he discovered that in saving the eldest he would indeed be preserving him to fulfill half of the prophecy, the other half belonged to his little brother. Castiel was devastated, it felt like raising lambs for slaughter. Yet, he felt it could give him time to think on the predicament. Time moved so differently in his realm, he would be able to visit this child and hopefully his brother as well, while they grew and maybe he’d find a way to prevent the devastation they seemed to be destined for.

He first came to Dean Winchester when he was 6. Visiting him was required but only at his leisure when he was not otherwise engaged in battles and missions. So he visited as often as he could. The first time was when he’d been visiting a family friend with his father and little brother Sam. Castiel desperately wanted to visit with Sam too, but something was preventing the youngest Winchester from seeing him. He could sense something was there, but couldn't interact with Castiel despite Dean insisting he was right there beside him. 

Dean grew to love visits from Castiel, though they happened years apart it seemed no time passed for the angel. He was still the beautiful ball of feathers and light. The last time Dean remembered seeing him was just before he collected Sam from Stanford in order to find their father who hadn’t been home in a few days. Castiel could see Dean was extremely worried and he wished he could help but things had become so inflamed in heaven he simply couldn't get away to assist. It was the last time he saw Dean with a soul that was frayed along the edges but still pure.

Many years later he found himself struggling to get to Dean, he’d lost so many brothers and sisters under his command. The only ones left to fight where Hannah, Jehoel, and himself. He couldn't believe how brutally damaged Dean's soul had become. He knew it was because he’d gotten to him too late. It devastated him beyond belief and he barely got his soul out intact. It took several attempts to restore him and when he did, the relief was immeasurable. He realized that throughout his time observing Dean, he’d fallen in love with him. This devastated him even further as he understood this was not his soul mate, his name had never been given to him and to make matters worse he’d have to erase the memory of himself. Naomi had ordered he wipe certain parts of this poor soul's experience away, yet leave the worst of it intact. Castiel had such little faith in heaven anymore, how was this fair? How was this just? To leave a man so broken inside to not only remember his Hell but have to keep fighting, and eventually learn that in order to even have a chance at saving the world he’d have to murder his brother. He refused to allow this to happen. He couldn't return Dean without giving him help, but what was within his power to do? 

He claimed him. Heaven would likely burn him with Holy Fire for eternity for doing it but he didn't see any other opportunity for Dean. By claiming he could watch over him somewhat, hopefully guide him. This wasn't his soulmate, and with Naomi ordering him to wipe his memory he wouldn't be able to remember him anyways. Soul mates beyond a certain age were forbidden to remember their angels...time usually convinced the humans they'd merely had an imaginary friend as children. The true test was if they could despite this memory disruption recognize the angel on site after childish things were put aside to grow up. If the child remembered then they could be kept by their angel and all would be well. Castiel returned Dean to Sam wishing so much things could’ve been different. 

When Dean returned to his brother and adopted father Bobby, he just couldn't let things be. Something was restless inside him, something deep on a level he couldn't quite comprehend. He called for this creature stalking him to come forth. Their friend Pam warned this was a powerful being, yet pushed ahead for her own curiosity and for that she lost her sight. Bobby and Dean decided to take matters into their own hands and when Castiel blew through the barn doors on the night of September 18, 2008 life changed for everyone. When Dean's soul flickered and flared upon Castiel's arrival causing grace and soul to overpower everything within a mile radius even heaven itself couldn't deny that soul had recognized its intended. 

Alas Castiel was forbidden to ever tell Dean any of this but he was overjoyed that the soul he’d rescued in Hell, the soul whom he’d visited throughout his quick human life, had recognized him immediately. He had been shown Dean Winchester, but it was Dean’s acceptance and love for him which officially made him his guardian. No soul in the history of the universe could recognize their guardian after the separation from childhood to adult if their memory had been wiped, yet Dean's soul had. His mind would take years to remember but his soul had cried out to Castiel from a place of darkness after Hell and claimed him right back and no.power in the universe could ever deny it. 

Many times after the meeting in the barn, Castiel would defy Heaven and receive punishment. Many times he would suffer, die, and somehow come back for his human. But it would be worth it when the day came he could tell Dean, his intended, how much he had been loved and would always be loved by an angel.


End file.
